


St. Jude (Patron Saint of The Lost Causes)

by InkStainsOnMyHands



Category: Big Hero 6 (2014), Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare - Fandom
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Crack Treated Seriously, Crossover Pairings, I can already feel the hate, M/M, Mild Gore, Pining!Tadashi, Please Don't Hate Me, Sibling Incest, Slight Mention of Pregnancy, Unrequited Love, War, older!Hiro, omg what am I doing?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-13
Updated: 2015-06-17
Packaged: 2018-04-04 05:52:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4127425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InkStainsOnMyHands/pseuds/InkStainsOnMyHands
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tadashi has always been more comfortable in chaos. </p><p>[COD: AW Crossover]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I CAN EXPLAIN!
> 
> Okay, I’m usually really bad at author’s notes because I feel like my fics usually speak for themselves. 
> 
> I HAVE NO EXCUSE FOR THIS TRASH, I AM SORRY. 
> 
> But, okay, so the story behind this, the crackiest off all fics, is kind of a ...sad one? 
> 
> There is a lot of shit going on in my life, some good, some bad. Nothing life threatening or altering, but stressful. So, I decided to relieve the stress by finally, FINALLY, finishing both COD: Ghosts and COD: Advanced Warfare. 
> 
> Now, I’m one of those weirdos that actually plays the campaigns because the story lines are pretty fucking amazing. Because of that, and my strange need to see the Hamadas in war-like situations, I started having these weird headcanons that I felt the need to share with Sam. (Yes, Sam, I am blaming you for this.) 
> 
> Well, I couldn’t get the image of Hiro having a legion of hunky marines fall in love with him out of my head. One thing led to another, and I just thought about how cute it would be if the main protagonist of Advanced Warfare fell in love with Hiro. Reason being is that he’s such a tech fanboy. If you watch [this video](https://youtu.be/idphc8MlwDs?t=18m7s) , and skip to 18:07, you get to see Mitchell being a cute puppy over a simple spy drone. (Also, watch 22:24 for complete bad ass-ery, 57:30 for a certain scene in this fic, and 1:16:00 for some explanations also Mitchell’s cutie face, and 1:25:30 because I can’t handle his face.) 
> 
> I HAVE BEEN DEEP INTO THIS SHIP EVER SINCE. 
> 
> What doesn’t help is that originally we paired Gideon with Tadashi as a joke, but then the more we thought about it, the more we started to legitimately ship it. OH MY LORD, SOMEONE HELP ME.

  
_Another conversation with no destination_  
_Another battle; never won_  
_And each side is a loser_  
_So who cares who fired the gun_

 _Sentinel_ was, far and away, wholly different from _Atlas_. Not that Tadashi minded.

Certainly, four years ago, joining the special forces coalition would have been the least likely reality for the robotics engineer. A military position, especially one in which he would see and participate in active combat, had once been the farthest possible career choice imaginable. It was laughable, even.

(Tadashi will never forget the first time he shot a man, a stranger, a human being to death. He will also never forget the first time he shot a man to death and cared so little as to not take a moment to pause, and instead, aimed at his next target.)

But, then again, four years ago he didn’t live in a world where the _KVA_ , an anti-western terrorist group, had targeted and destroyed the nuclear infrastructure of every major city in the world, effectively plunging the globe into darkness. _Atlas_ , a private company offering military-style assistance and protection, had seemed like a savior during the apocalyptic-like time.

The company rebuilt the nuclear power plants that had been demolished, offered food and shelter to refugees, and protected civilians from the ever-expanding terrorist group, free of charge. _Atlas_ had done more in a handful of years than the governments of the world had done in decades, centuries even. Peace seemed inevitable. Tadashi had fallen in love with that notion, and when they offered him and his brother a position at their robotics department, he enthusiastically took what was handed to him.

(All Tadashi wanted to do was help people.)

It would only take a year for his naive fantasy to unravel into the nightmare his life had become.

One night, Hiro trotted into their room, tears streaming down from his eyes, babbling, “He knew! Goddamnit! He knew the whole time!”

Hiro confessed then that, all along, he was wary of the amount of power the world was handing over to one corporation. Like a virus, they quickly spread through the world's veins, controlling pipelines, borders, and trade routes. It piqued his suspicion.

He snooped where he had no business in snooping. Sure enough, the evidence was insurmountable. Jonathon Irons, CEO of _Atlas_ , had known about the attacks set by the _KVA_ weeks before they were begotten, but he stood to gain too much in their aftermath. Irons told no one, and subsequently allowed fifty-thousand people to die.

They resigned from their positions a few days later, citing that their Aunt had become sick and they needed to take care of her. Although it was public knowledge that their last remaining relative had died during the attacks, thankfully, no one questioned them.

For months, out of paranoid fear, they moved from hotel to hotel. They continuously hacked into the _Atlas_ network system, careful to mask their identities and location, to collect evidence that they hoped to present to the United States government. Little did they know, the United States government would come to them first.

They thought they had been meticulous, but while _Atlas_ security had not detected their presence, _Sentinel_ , the taskforce in charge of investigated the _KVA_ attacks, and therefore, _Atlas_ , realized quickly that the brothers were working in tandem with their group. The only question, Major Cormack stated as he paced their sparsely furnished hotel room, while the boys were on their knees with their hands up in surrender, was whether they were an asset or a liability.

The tall, sturdy, middle-aged former marine's dark eyes locked on both of them. His expression was hard, determined, but honest and fatherly. It succeeded in both scaring and soothing the elder Hamada.

They had little choice: enlist in _Sentinel_ as consultants or hand over what little evidence they had before ceasing and desisting all “illegal” activities.

Hiro chose to enlist, but not as a consultant. A few days after being housed at _Sentinel_ HQ, he decided that playing advisor wasn’t enough for him.

"They're using my drone tech to profit off of slaughter," Hiro explained as he placed his application for combat training on the card table in front of Cormack.

The lone light coming from the desk lamp next to the commander highlighted the younger man’s stoic features. His frame was tense, but it did not waver. He was convicted in his cause. Nothing would stop him. "I need to help bring down _Atlas_ , and I can't do that in front of a computer."

Surprisingly, Cormack didn't try to argue with Hiro. (You’re too young. You don’t have any military experience. This is a special forces task force, kid. What the hell is wrong with you?) Instead, he leaned forward, placed his folded hands in front of his face, and simply stated, "This coalition operates directly under the United States military. I hope you know what that means."

Hiro wordlessly nodded. Without taking his eyes off of the younger man, Cormack took the application and handed it to the security officer standing off to his side, with the order to have the Hamada brothers’ P.T gear ready for them. They would start basic training in the morning.

Tadashi was slightly taken aback. He hadn’t presented his own application yet, but as Cormack stated, while beckoning the elder sibling forward with a wave of his hand,“I know you know Hiro doesn’t need moral support, so there’s only one reason why you’re here.”

Cormack then took the piece of paper that was previous hiding behind Tadashi’s back and handed it to the same officer.

_And I'm learning, so I'm leaving_  
_And even though I'm grieving_  
_I'm trying to find the meaning_  
_Let loss reveal it_  
_Let loss reveal it_

Six months had molded the brothers into soldiers.

Tadashi shouldn’t have been so shocked by Hiro’s transformation. Yes, his stubborn, strong-willed, genius of a brother was far from the disciplined image of a Marine. But, when Hiro wanted something, no obstacle, even personal ones, could get in his way. It took only a few days to break him out of his sarcastic persona; he learned to only respond to his orders with an enthusiastic, “Oorah!”

(One concession was made: Hiro’s hair. His vanity had made the shearing of his hair nearly impossible, but special considerations were made. Hiro wore his unruly locks in a neat ponytail, keeping the ebony strands within acceptable military standards for women, as he was still legally considered a female.

Regardless, Tadashi was relieved to find that while _Atlas_ had their fair share of bullies, the men and women they trained beside in _Sentinel_ were far more accepting.

“When someone is watching your back in the heat of battle, it doesn’t matter what’s between their legs,” Cormack explained one day.)

_St. Jude, the patron saint of the lost causes_  
_St. Jude, we were lost before she started_  
_St. Jude, we lay in bed as she whipped around us_  
_St. Jude, maybe I've always been more comfortable in chaos_

A year and a half later, Tadashi and Hiro found that their new jobs weren’t nearly as exciting as what they had trained for. Tadashi continued his work as a prosthetics and enhancements engineer, inventing new ways to improve upon the exoskeletal armor that the military used to protect their soldiers. Although Hiro didn’t want to simply work behind a desk, he did just that, sweeping through the _Atlas_ network and flagging anything that seemed suspicious. (“The word ‘manticore’ keeps coming up, we need to track this.”)

For the first time in several years, their lives had an actual routine to them. That was until Hiro raced into a weekly management meeting, panic written in his wide eyes and panting mouth. “It’s Mitchell! He’s in trouble! Please, you have to help him.”

Tadashi’s ears perked when he heard the familiar name.

Jack Mitchell had been his first project. During his initial few months at _Atlas_ , he was in charge of creating a new arm for the ex-Marine, who lost his during the Second Korean War. A piece of shrapnel, which fell from the exploding missile launcher his best friend was trapped inside of, pierced through the flesh, bone and sinew of his left appendage, stealing his livelihood. Yet, Tadashi always suspected that helplessly watching his best friend die hurt worse than having his limb torn from his body. (“The nightmares make the phantom pain worse. Will that go away?”)

If it weren’t for the fact that his best friend, Will Irons, was Jonathan Irons’ son, Mitchell would have been left forgotten. _Atlas_ gave him another chance. (“Thanks, Dr. Hamada. I appreciate everything you’re doing for me,” Mitchell muttered each time he left his office.)

Tadashi spent a lot of time around the soft spoken man. They hadn’t become friends, necessarily. It was difficult to share interests, hobbies, or even a conversation with someone trapped in their own head most of the time. They would, however, occasionally eat lunch together if they both had the time but no dining partner to share it with, which was how the soldier met Hiro.

Hiro had little wiggle room in his schedule for a bathroom break, let alone lunch, but the first time he was able to sit down and eat with his big brother since joining _Atlas_ , he seemed far too absorbed in the mechanics of Mitchell’s new arm to fully take advantage of his midday break. Nevertheless, Tadashi preened under Hiro’s enthusiastic praises, and didn’t notice, until far too late, that Mitchell’s dull, gunmetal eyes had brightened to an electrified blue.

Lunch time meetings with Mitchell increased in frequency, but Tadashi knew it had to do more with Hiro’s potential attendance than his company. ("I like your brother," he confessed during one of his arm collaborations. "He doesn't look at me with pity, or like I'm an idiot - ouch!")

Mitchell’s seemingly perpetual pout upturned into a smile anytime Hiro demonstrated the schematics of his newest projects. As Hiro’s hands waved over the holographic projections coming from his tablet, the shadows that clung to the older man’s chiseled features melted away. Any attention that Hiro gave to the mercenary made him fidget with the chocolate waves of his hair, like a blushing schoolgirl. More damning was that Mitchell no longer seemed so lost, although whether that was due to finding a new purpose as an _Atlas_ cohort or being near Hiro, Tadashi couldn't be sure.

( _He doesn’t belong anywhere near my brother_ , Tadashi thought one day. It scared him.)

Two years later, Mitchell was in trouble. A lot of trouble, if the tremble in Hiro’s voice and fingers was any indication. Without waiting for an order, he followed Cormack and the others to the control room just down the hall.

The group crowded around Hiro’s workstation and watched the surveillance footage of _Atlas_ security forces holding Mitchell and another soldier captive inside of a datacenter room. The other mercenary was on her knees, her arms held up over her head. Mitchell laid crumpled on the floor.

Hiro hurriedly explained, as Mitchell was dragged off of the tile, “I noticed a scrambler opening an unnamed file in a secure area. I thought it could have something to do with ‘manticore’ so I tapped into their monitoring system to listen in - it’s not good Major. Mitchell knows too much. They’re going to kill him.”

“Can you hack into his exo suit?” Cormack asked with a calm that was slightly off-putting.

Hiro pulled up a dialogue box, entered a password generator into one of the fields, and within seconds, Mitchell's breathing filtered through distorted static.

“Transfer his communications systems to my exo suit,” Cormack commanded.

Hiro’s fingers danced over the keys in front of him. Window after window opened before him. His eyes visibly scanned the pages with a nearly inhuman speed. Quietly, he replied,“You’re on a private frequency, but just in case, I distorted your voice.”

Cormack tapped on his earpiece twice. “Listen. We’ve hacked into your exo system. I need you to trust me. In three seconds -” the commander’s serious gaze set itself on Hiro. The younger man’s fingers readied themselves over the keyboard in response. “- the fire suppression system will be activated. Get ready to run.”

The moment his instruction was sent to Mitchell, Hiro commanded that the fire extinguishers to release their chemicals. They watched as both soldiers used the distraction to their advantage, hitting their guards’ weak points before stealing their weapons. Never one to take chances, Mitchell shot and killed his captors.

Cormack looked to the group. He pointed to two of his soldiers and then to the door. They ran out of the room in tandem, a silent promise to extract Mitchell and his companion out of their situation.

Hiro released a deep breath. If it wasn’t for the chair beneath him, Tadashi knew the boy's quaking legs would have collapsed from under him. The younger Hamada placed his head in his cupped hands and let out a choked sob.

Tadashi couldn’t help but feel as though the reaction was - excessive? ( _Wrong. So, so wrong. What is Mitchell to you, Hiro?_ )

Hiro stiffened, inhaled, then slowly exhaled, “I’m sorry." Hiro lifted his head and looked to his big brother, his anchor. "I don’t have a lot of friends, I just -”

Tadashi nodded; he understood. The nerd crew were an unknown. Honey-Lemon was most certainly dead, having found a job at one of the nuclear power plants that was destroyed before the chaos erupted. The two hadn’t heard from GoGo since she moved to South Korea to help rebuild the transportation systems that had been destroyed in the war. Fred offered to shelter the Hamada brothers in the underground bunker that was fortified beneath his family’s mansion, but they declined the offer, much more interested in the accommodations _Atlas_ offered. Wasabi did take their rich friend’s offer, as far as they were aware, but what ultimately happened to their two college friends, they had little clue. Once they joined the _Atlas_ refugee camp that was set up near their home, they lost all contact with them.

Mitchell was the only person Hiro had left, aside from Tadashi. (There was a time when you only needed me, Tadashi thought bitterly.)

Hiro wiped his tears with the back of his knuckles. His features hardened. The edge of his desk was taken into his hands with a white-knuckle grip. His time for crying appeared to be over.

He opened a window that displayed what was being recorded by the first-person-point-of-view camera situated on Mitchell’s exo suit. The man was certainly being shot at, hunted down by _Atlas_ forces as a hostile agent, but overall, he seemed to be doing well for himself on the streets of New Baghdad. He evaded his captors at every turn, dodging bullets, grenades and even A.S.T suits of armor with an ease that impressed Tadashi, if begrudgingly.

Still, Tadashi felt uncomfortable by the invasion. This wasn't their fight. They had no business in viewing an active mission that they were not assigned to. “Hiro, you’re not a part of this, “ he started warningly.

“This is my job, ‘Dashi,” Hiro replied cooly, without taking his eyes off of the monitor in front of him. “What if Mitchell needs my help? He could die out there.”

Tadashi felt numb. (No, not numb. Not happy, but not sad either. Why do I feel this way?) He schooled his features into a neutral expression.“Okay,” he said robotically.

They both watched on as Mitchell met the three-man _Sentinel_ team, led by Cormack, at the top of a nondescript building. Suddenly, the air whipped around them as a hovercraft loomed overhead, bringing everyone’s attention to it. The group tensed, drawing their weapons, as an _Atlas_ force that consisted of Gideon, Tadashi’s blonde former drinking friend, and Joker, another former drinking ...acquaintance, landed on the rooftop.

Tadashi feared (No, not fear. Why wasn’t he afraid?) that this would be the end of their mission, but Gideon did not raise his weapon and commanded that Joker put down his. They approached the group converged on the rooftop with steady, even steps. Gideon released them with a warning (spoken in his roguish british accent, which strangely shocked Tadashi after not hearing it for so many years) that if they were wrong about _Atlas_ , he would hunt them down himself. (Tadashi’s heart raced, but he remained unafraid.)

Half an hour later, Mitchell and his companion landed safely at _Sentinel_ HQ. The moment their boots were on the ground, Hiro ran out of the room. Tadashi followed with quick steps, but could hardly match his little brother’s pace and remain polite to those travelling through the hallways. Hiro flew around corners, dodged milling people, and pivoted aside stationary equipment to reach the hangar, leaving angry chatter in his wake.

When Tadashi reached the hangar, he was shocked into rage by what he saw. Mitchell held his little brother close to him, his nose buried in his hair. The man’s eyes were scrunched closed from the weight of some deep emotion Tadashi didn’t want to comprehend.

(Stop touching him. Stop touching him. Stopfuckingtouchinghim.)

Tadashi drew nearer to the pair, close enough to hear their conversation.

“You have no idea how happy I am to see a friendly face,” Mitchell sighed against the top of Hiro’s head.

The significantly taller man pulled away from the embrace. His focus was seemingly on nothing but Hiro’s visage, as though the young man held the secrets of the universe in his amber orbs. A smile tugged at the corners of his whiskered cheeks. “I thought I’d never see you again, Hiro,” he admitted with a slight quiver in his voice.

Hiro shrugged, appearing nonchalant despite the bright sheen over his eyes. “I had to take care of a couple of things,” he joked so easily that Tadashi felt a growl burn at the back of his throat.

Mitchell turned his head in Tadashi’s direction. For a moment, the elder Hamada feared that Mitchell heard his silent complaint, but the older man’s smile convinced him otherwise.

The soldier approached Tadashi, his hand extended out towards him. The robotics engineer took the palm that was offered to him in a shake.

“It’s nice to see you, Dr. Hamada,” Mitchell muttered. The formality and tension in his tone set Tadashi's teeth to a grind.

Tadashi forced a strenuous smile.

( _Why is he “Hiro” and I’m “Dr. Hamada”?_ )

That night, as he approached the room he shared with Hiro, Tadashi was forced to pause when he heard murmuring filter through their door. It was not startling, but certainly odd; they didn’t share their dorm with anyone else, and neither of them had acquaintances close enough to invite over. Something was up.

If it was one thing the military had taught him, it was to trust his intuition. Tadashi didn’t open the door. Instead, he leaned forward and pressed his ear against the old wood.

“...didn’t you tell me what _Atlas_ was doing?” Mitchell’s muffled, yet distinct tenor, came through. The question was probing, but gentle.

“I didn’t know who to trust, I’m sorry, if I could have been sure, I would’ve -” Hiro said, desperation obviously laden in his apology.

Tadashi felt his hackles rise. It took his entire willpower to push down the powerful instinct to comfort Hiro, to rid him of the thing that caused him distress, and continue to listen.

“- Hiro, it’s okay. I understand, but - is, is that why you said ‘no’ when I, well…” Mitchell trailed off.

Tadashi let out a quiet growl. When he did what?

“Yes, among...among other reasons,” Hiro replied with slight hesitation.

“Hey, you don’t have to explain yourself. If you didn’t - if you don’t feel that way about me-”

“-but I did! I-I do!” Hiro interrupted Mitchell’s pathetic lamentations with his cry.

“You do?” Mitchell’s question held as much disbelief as Tadashi felt.

This was not happening. This couldn’t possibly be what he was hearing.

“Yes, but, Mitchell, you’re straight, and I’m - I don’t want you to see me as a girl,” Hiro sighed. The exasperation in his statement was palpable.

Tadashi heard the plop of a body hitting a bed. Another sigh echoed over to him.

Mitchell laughed. “Hiro, when did you get the idea that I was straight? You’ve always been a man to me. I was attracted to you before I knew, and I’m attracted to you now. It doesn’t make a difference to me.”

Silence filled the space between them for a few anxious heartbeats. Then, there was a hopeful, “Is it too late to want you to kiss me?”

Tadashi bulldozed into the room. A grin was plastered haphazardly on his face. He willed his shoulders to relax, but his trembling fingers balled into fists at his side. “Hey guys,” he called out.

Hiro appeared startled, but Mitchell's expression was tight with obvious annoyance. Tadashi felt a sick satisfaction from that.

Mitchell promised to discuss their previous private matter later. Hiro nodded his head. A bashful smile painted his red-cheeked face as he returned the soldier's small wave upon his exit.

_And I was on the island and you were there too  
But somehow through the storm I couldn't get to you  
St. Jude; somehow she knew_

Months went by frantically looking for whatever ‘manticore’ was. Mitchell and his partner-in-defecting, Ilona, had turned out to be a valuable assets to the team. Their inside information provided more opportunities for intelligence gathering than previously thought possible.

They infiltrated Iron’s home to find out that whatever manticore was, it was being flown to a base in South America, a strategic position to attack any major city in the western hemisphere while also being too far away to stop in time. Mitchell and Ilona were sent to Antarctica to take down the plane carrying the cargo midflight. Not only did they succeed, but they brought another defector to _Sentinel_ : Gideon.

Gideon provided the necessary intel to unlock the secret of what manticore was. The fungal-like substance was a biological weapon of mass destruction. It targeted anyone who was not on the _Atlas_ genetic database. A single spore was fatal to whomever was on the opposing side of it.

Aside from the valuable information, Tadashi was glad for the friend, who seemed content to listen to his woes over a beer. He unloaded his concerns onto Gideon, including the fact that he was sure Mitchell was sleeping with Hiro. Gideon would stiffen at that, assure him that Mitchell was far from the kind of person who would use another human being for sex, and steer the conversation elsewhere.

_And she came to give her blessing while causing devastation  
And I couldn't keep my mouth shut, I just had to mention  
Grabbing your attention_

After another few months of searching, Mitchell, Cormack, Gideon and several others infiltrated a warehouse in Bulgaria where manticore was being produced. They brought the factory down, and with it, _Atlas’_ credibility. It should have been the end of it, but the world had become far too reliant on _Atlas’_ power. Jonathon Irons became the first CEO of a private company to be offered a seat at the United Nations. During his acceptance speech, he promptly declared war on the world.

It was discovered, after Hiro decrypted the data from the warehouse in Bulgaria, that Irons’ had a contingency plan if he were ever “backed into a corner.” He had a list of potential targets, and the one that Irons’ had the most gain hitting would be Tadashi and Hiro’s hometown. It was boots on the ground, for everyone except Hiro.

After his last health exam, Hiro was placed on a combat field ban, much to Tadashi’s relief. No, he was certainly overjoyed that Hiro would not see battle given the recent circumstances, but what did cause him distress beyond all imagining was that his little brother only made vague references as to the reason for his medical status. Not only was he losing his presence to Mitchell, but his trust to him as well.

Tadashi felt guilty for the terrible hopes he had from then on, but try as he might, he couldn’t force himself to feel upset at the idea of Mitchell being KIA.

Before boarding their respective hovercrafts in the _Sentinel_ hangar, Tadashi watched the strangest scene unfold in front of him. Previously, whatever relationship his brother had with Mitchell was kept away from the public view. That changed when, suddenly, as Mitchell headed to his assigned aircraft, Hiro pulled him into a passionate kiss. By the way their hands instinctively found each others’ faces, it was certainly not the first time they had shared such a disgustingly long liplock.

Tadashi felt a sickness settle in his stomach. His pride was the only thing keeping him from vomiting into the nearest trashcan.

"Goddamnit, guys, y'all need to get your shit together," a familiar voice came from behind Tadashi.

Tadashi turned to see the laughing, square face of his friend, Joker. It was almost surprising to see him. Almost. The man was loyal to a fault. Anywhere Gideon went, he was sure to follow. It was simply a matter of time.

"Nice to see you, too," Tadashi grunted at him.

Joker shook his head. A knowing smile played upon his lips. "When are you going to tell your brother how you feel?" he asked beneath his breath.

Tadashi must have appeared scandalized, because Joker added a quick, defensive, "Hey, when you do this line of work, you see some fucked up shit. I'm far from judging you.

Tadashi took a moment to ponder his verbal options before simply asking, "How'd you know?"

Joker's smile stretched. "Because you're looking at Mitchell like Gideon looks at Hiro, like you're not too sure you would be too beat up if he didn't come home.”

Tadashi should have been horrified by the revelation that his best friend wished his brother dead, but the only evidence of this new truth was the strange hollow ache he felt in his chest. He turned back to see Mitchell stare down at Hiro with half-lidded eyes. His brother returned the gesture, petting the other man’s cheek. Hiro’s lips were moving, but he couldn’t hear what it was he was saying.

“You should have a beer with us when we get back, like old times,” Joker offered. “I’m sure Gideon would like that a lot. Aside from Mitchell, he missed you most of all.”

_And I'm learning, so I'm leaving_  
_And even though I'm grieving_  
_I'm trying to find the meaning_  
_Let loss reveal it_

Tadashi’s eyes flickered over to the far corner where the whiskered blonde was checking his gear over. Something warm bloomed in his stomach, something he didn’t want to dwell upon. He looked back to his brother.

The moment he saw Mitchell’s hand rest upon Hiro’s belly, his features soft with reverence toward the flat plain beneath his fingertips, he quickly realized that he would probably need that drink.

“Maybe you guys can find a way to distract each other.” Joker punctuated his statement with a friendly backhand against his carved out chest.

Tadashi’s sight met Gideon’s. The man smiled at him while rubbing at the union jack tattooed on his thick neck. Though his devastation had the gravitational pull of a black hole, he found the strength to smile back.

Yeah, maybe a beer with Gideon would be good for him.

_Let loss reveal it_


	2. How Big, How Blue (How Beautiful)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "GoGo was exceedingly disappointed in her friends. It wouldn’t be the first time, and she hoped it wouldn’t be the last time, either.
> 
>  
> 
> How had everyone lost touch with one another so easily? Yes, the world did, essentially, go to shit nearly a decade ago, but that was no excuse. If anything, it should have brought them closer."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made people sad with my last one. This was my way of trying to fix the sad. I may have made things worse. 
> 
> Whoops...

_Between a crucifix and the Hollywood sign, we decided to get hurt_

_Now there’s a few things we have to burn_

_Set our hearts ablaze, and every city was a gift_

 

GoGo was exceedingly disappointed in her friends. It wouldn’t be the first time, and she hoped it wouldn’t be the last time, either.

 

How had everyone lost touch with one another so easily? Yes, the world did, essentially, go to shit nearly a decade ago, but that was no excuse. If anything, it should have brought them closer.

 

(She refused to blame herself for disappearing years ago.)

 

The first person she was able to pin down, after weeks of social media hunts, was Honey-Lemon. Honey-Lemon had survived the attacks wrought by the _KVA_ , no worse for physically wear (although, she seemed haunted by something she refused to acknowledge).

 

They met at the cafe their friends’ Aunt Cass had once owned, and were disappointed to find out that she had passed away. Meanwhile, her nephews were nowhere to be found.

 

That was when the girls decided to track down the rest of their friends, if only to cherish them one last time before another global crisis threatened to split them apart. After months of searching, they were eventually able to get in contact with Wasabi and Fred, but neither of them had heard from the Hamada brothers in years.

 

That was unacceptable. GoGo compelled the rest of the group to help her search for Tadashi and Hiro, the two boys they had once called their best friends. With their combined efforts, they discovered that Tadashi, at the very least, had an address - on a military base.

 

Odd, but not impossible. Upon further research, it appeared as though both brothers had joined the special forces after a brief stint with the Atlas corporation. It was by far the strangest piece of information GoGo had ever acquired in her life, but it didn’t give her pause.

 

_And every skyline was like a kiss upon the lips_

_And I was making you a wish_

_And every skyline_

 

Three hours of listening to Fred jabber excitedly, Wasabi consistently demand that everyone wash their hands every fifteen minutes, and Honey’s snores during a plane ride later, they found themselves at the gate of military base in Southern California. They were given access with an ease that was slightly unsettling, but nonetheless, they stood outside of Tadashi’s home for the first time in nearly ten years.

 

The entire group was too anxious to knock on the door. What would they find on the other side? Would they like what their friends had become after so much strife?

 

After several heartbeats of infuriating silence, GoGo rapped on the carved wood several times but received no answer.

 

Unperturbed, GoGo walked across the street to where balloons, streamers and children’s decorations littered the front porch of the home directly facing Tadashi’s. The banners placed over the garage door announced a child’s fifth birthday party, and more importantly, that there was a group of people inside that must know about their neighbors.

 

The gang protested against her bold unconforming of societal rules, but she would be damned if she came this close only to give up at the finish line. She rang the doorbell several times, pushed onward by her impatience. A minute later, a man opened the door.

 

He was disturbingly tall, the only person GoGo had ever encountered that could possibly rival Wasabi’s height. His entire frame was crafted out of lean muscle, for the exception of his left arm. The metal appendage was wrapped in skin-colored plastic that could have passed for natural if it weren’t for the various dips and grooves in its construction. Bright blue eyes, which were set below wavy chocolate bangs and above whiskered cheeks, focused themselves on the crew.

 

“Can I help you?” he inquired softly with neither a smile or a frown.

 

With only a slight hesitation, GoGo replied, “Yeah, we’re looking for our friends. They live across the street.”

 

The line of the man’s lips stretched. His eyebrow quirked as his right foot moved one step back.

 

GoGo tsked at the silent question. Her arms crossed over her chest.“Tadashi and Hiro Hamada? Heard of them?” she asked with a bark.

 

How big, how blue, how beautiful

 

The stranger’s pouting mouth melted into a heart-stopping smile (that even stole GoGo’s hard-earned breath away). “Yeah, I’ve heard of them,” he replied almost musically.

 

The man stepped aside and beckoned the crew into his home. As they walked from the toy-littered front room, through the heavily-decorated living room, and out the back door, the man introduced himself as Jack Mitchell, a good friend of the Hamadas.

 

How big, how blue, how beautiful

 

Within the confines of the backyard, the scene displayed before the group was exhilarating in its domestic nature. Adults and children of all sizes were running around one another with water guns, shooting each other with sprays of liquid relief against the dry heat of the mojave desert. Through the flurry of activity, it was difficult to make out the individuals that were participating in the water sport, but after a few scans of her environment, GoGo found one of her prizes.

 

Tadashi, who was being chased by a rather tiny version of himself, looked so familiar, and yet, so different. The soaked shirt that plastered itself against his tanned skin did little to hide the sculpted body the military supplied him with. Years of wear had eroded the laugh lines around his eyes and lips into jagged canyons. A smattering of white hairs peeked through the cap he wore backwards upon his head, the same cap Tadashi had clung to since he was a child.

 

Well, some things haven’t changed, GoGo mused.

 

_And meanwhile a man was falling from space_

_And every day I wore your face_

_Like an atmosphere around me_

_A satellite beside me_

 

“Man down! Man down!” Tadashi laughed as he fell onto the grass. His clone waddled over to him before spraying the helpless soldier with water from a plastic pistol.

 

“Takahiro! Play nice with your dad!” a familiar voice shouted from the corner of the yard.

 

_And meanwhile a man was falling from space_

_As he hit the earth I left this place_

_Let the atmosphere surround me_

_A satellite beside me_

 

Five heads simultaneously turned towards the sound. Off to the side, Hiro stood, presiding over the entire pageantry. He was much taller, filled out and heavier, especially around his middle.

 

“Honey!” Mitchell called out.

 

Hiro whipped his head around. The moment his line of sight was locked onto the nerd crew, his amber eyes widened unbelievably big, and they were overtaken by a glistening sheen. His eyebrows knitted themselves tightly upon his forehead. He covered his mouth with his hands.

 

Despite the awkwardness of his gaute, he quickly made his way to the group.

 

The first person he embraced was Honey-Lemon, which was unsurprising after he declared how he had thought she had died. Next, he hugged GoGo, who took care not to press against the swell of his belly, followed by Wasabi, then Fred.

 

“Wow! Hiro, you got fat!” Fred declared after their affection ended.

 

GoGo elbowed the lanky blonde’s arm. “He’s pregnant, genius!” she scolded with a hiss. Hiro let out a sound that was between a sob and a chortle.

 

"Why is papa crying?" a tiny voice came from behind Mitchell's leg.

 

They turned their attention to a little boy, no older than five, who bore a striking resemblance to Hiro. Worry was evident in his huge doe eyes. He balled the fabric of Mitchell’s jeans in his tiny little hands.

 

Hiro laughed through his tears. He wiped the wetness from his face, but it did little to comfort the little boy. He continued to peak warily at the gang through unruly ebony bangs.

 

Mitchell gathered the child in his arms and settled him upon his hip. "Papa is just happy," Mitchell explained with a small coo.

 

"Guys," Hiro began with a chirp. "This is my husband, Mitchell." He introduced with a wave of his hand.

 

"And this is the android we built, Will," Mitchell joked a brief second later, bouncing the boy that was pressed against his side.

 

Will's features twisted as though he were scandalized by the very notion his father proposed. "Daddy, no! I'm a princess today."

 

_What are we gonna do?_

_We've opened the door, now it's all coming through_

_Tell me you see it too_

_We've opened our eyes and it’s changing the view_

_Oh, what are we gonna do?_

_We've opened the door, now it’s all coming through_

 

As the trio shared a mirthful chuckle, the truth settled itself beneath the folds of GoGo’s ribs. Mitchell and Hiro were in a relationship, and that union facilitated the conception of a child. They were a family, a happy one at that, but that... shouldn't be. The spot beside Hiro wasn’t supposed to be filled by anyone other than -  

 

("How do I get over him? This is so wrong!" Tadashi lamented after having too much to drink one night.

 

The rest of the crew had gone home, but GoGo was determined to find out why Tadashi went from a casual beer-sipper to throwing back shots of whisky like they were water within the span of a week.

 

GoGo merely patted his shoulder and assured him that everything would be okay. She wished him the happy ending he deserved.

 

A very small, very disconnected part of her wanted Hiro to share his intense feelings. Their relationship would be dramatic, there was no doubt about that, but they could find a great happiness with each other. )

 

_How big, how blue, how beautiful_

_How big, how blue, how beautiful_

 

How strange was it that GoGo found it strange that there was nothing of Tadashi in Hiro’s baby?

 

Will had Hiro’s round cheeks and unabashed laugh, Mitchell's big blue eyes and his puppy-pout smile. No where within Will, however, was there room for Tadashi’s input. Will’s uncle’s features would never surface in regards to his molding, and if GoGo were to be honest with herself, it turned out better that way. It was heartbreaking in the very worst way, in the way that was brutally honest when the phrase “it worked out for the best” came to mind.

 

_And every city was a gift_

_And every skyline was like a kiss upon the lips_

_And I was making you a wish_

_And every skyline_

 

“I beg the princess’ pardon,” Mitchell replied theatrically with a flamboyant flair to his voice.

 

“Your accent could use some work, mate.”

 

GoGo looked passed Hiro’s husband to see a sturdy, lean, blonde man making his way towards the group. Like Mitchell, he had the physique of a man who had seen his fair share of combat. He wore his hair fashionably short and spiked with gel at the front. His facial hair was neither unkempt or groomed in any particularly style, merely kept as a shadow over his face. His smile was thick, but his steely eyes were far too intimidating for casual conversation. The union jack permanently painted on the side of his neck did little to help perpetuate friendliness.

 

GoGo found herself stepping back without a thought.

 

_And meanwhile a man was falling from space_

_And every day I wore your face_

_Like an atmosphere around me_

_I'm happy you're beside me_

 

So focused on the newcomer, GoGo didn’t realize that Tadashi had run up onto the deck until he met the stranger’s side. The elder Hamada sibling clapped a hand on the man’s shoulder and squeezed. “Gideon, be nice, I want my friends to like you,” he joked with a feigned hiss.

 

The man’s hard eyes softened minutely. He turned to smile warmly at his taller companion. “I’m always nice, love.”

 

The stranger - Gideon - kissed Tadashi on the cheek, earning a few wide-eyed stares from the group.

 

It was no secret that Tadashi’s sexual orientation could not be pinned down to a perfect label. He had dated all manner of people in college, and had been equally interested in each and every one of his partners, or so it seemed.

 

Yet, Gideon did not fit the image GoGo had created for Tadashi’s perfect mate. (If Tadashi did not end up with Hiro) GoGo imaged that her friend’s companion would by a sheepish, bookworm of a person, possibly with glasses and slight snort to their voice. If such an opposite existed, it was Gideon, who was an aggressive, gorrilla of a man, with a permanent glare and a roguish, british accent to match.

 

_What are we gonna do?_

_We've opened the door, now it's all coming through_

_Till we see it too_

_We've opened our eyes and it's changing the view_

_Oh, what are we gonna do?_

_We've opened the door, now it's all coming through_

 

Tadashi introduced Gideon to the group, who waved with the hand that was not wrapped tightly around a water gun.

 

GoGo couldn’t shake the wrongness of the spectacle. It felt like a dream; it made sense in the moment, but when thought was applied to the event, it was too ridiculous to be true.

 

“And this -” Tadashi began as he hoisted the clone of himself, that managed to waddle onto the back patio, onto his shoulders, “-is Takahiro, our little creature.”

 

“Hi,” the child said quietly against his father’s cap.

 

A sudden wave of dizziness hit GoGo. It was all too much to process. This wasn’t the future she should be seeing. It was horrifying to think of the struggle, the heartbreak, the insurmountable sadness her best friend must have gone through.  

 

Takahiro fisted his father’s large ears for balance. Tadashi’s grin widened.

_How big, how blue, how beautiful_

_How big, how blue, how beautiful_

_How big, how blue, how beautiful_

_How big, how blue, how..._

 

In a perfect world - no, GoGo couldn’t finish that thought, because this is what a perfect world looked like. It was a million miles away from what Tadashi wanted years ago, she knew that. Yet, the moment Tadashi subconsciously leaned against his own husband, he appeared happier than she had ever seen him.

 

_So much time on the other side_

_Waiting for you to wake up_

_So much time on the other side_

_Waiting for you to wake up_

_Maybe I'll see you in another life_

_If this one wasn't enough_

_So much time on the other side_

 

When GoGo saw the way Tadashi’s shoulders relaxed in response to Gideon placing his hands on his upper arms, it confirmed that his current lover wasn’t some sort of consolation prize. This was it. This was the real deal. This wasn’t a deep, severely unhealthy, possessive obsession over another human being.

 

The bright illumination upon his face was love, true love.

 

_How big, how blue, how beautiful_

_How big, how blue, how..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, if I messed up, let me know! Comments and kudos make my life. Thanks!


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